Deciding How to Relocate with Your Partner

There’s no question. Moving is stressful. I have yet to find one person who enjoys it. You pack up all your boxes, bubble wrap breakables, and sort through what you do and don’t need anymore. Even if you’re just moving a few miles down the road, the process can be stressful.

Deciding to relocate with your partner entirely, say out of state, can bring a whole new set of challenges. If you’re thinking about making a long-distance move with your significant other (and possibly children), there are several things to consider before you take the leap. And if you’re moving in with someone to overcome the challenges of a long-distance relationship, it’s even more crucial.

Your Support Network

When deciding whether or not to relocate, consider your support network. This includes your friends, family, people that you are in a group or club with, and so on. The people you turn to when things get tough. The people you grab drinks with on the weekend or invite over for holidays.

Do you have people like that near the location you’re considering as your new home? If you’re making a big move, you must have a support system. It can get lonely when you’re by yourself, and it can be challenging to learn how to make friends as an adult.

Additionally, if you’re used to having grandparents or close friends babysit frequently, do you have a plan for when you’re far away?

Your Career

Right now, you may be in a geographic area where there’s a high demand for professionals working in your field. When looking to relocate, you must consider the job market in that area.

Some people will have job opportunities wherever they go. Healthcare workers, for example. Others may face challenges in getting a job in certain regions. Before you decide, look online to see what companies are hiring and if there are opportunities that fit your role.

Whether or not to sacrifice your career for your relationship is a deeply personal decision, and for some families, it may work. For others, it might not be the answer.

Your Current Lifestyle

Think about the things you do regularly. Are you always trying out new, eclectic restaurants or spending your weekends hiking through the woods? Different regions offer different activities, and it’s important to consider that when deciding whether or not to relocate.

If the thought of driving 15 miles into town to go to the pharmacy makes you crazy and you’re thinking of moving to a rural area, you may want to sit with your decision for a little while. If you’re used to small-town vibes, moving to a big city, that’s another major adjustment. Is that something that you and your partner are both on board with?

Your Partner’s Feelings

You might be super excited about an amazing job offer you got a few states away, and to you, the choice is obvious that it makes sense to move. But does your partner feel the same way, or do they have reservations?

Deciding to relocate is a big one. Major relocations cost money and can completely upend your current lifestyle. If you’re excited to move, have you carefully considered all of the above?

The answer might be yes. If you have considered all these things and you and your partner feel confident that it’s the right decision, go for it and make your dreams happen. If not, it’s time to have an open and honest conversation weighing the pros and cons before you commit.

Originally published at on June 4, 2020.



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